Yesterday was just another usual University day. Although, I did record some electronic drums, bass and tremelo effects on to Cubase which was rather fun.
Later in the evening Laura and I visited Tesco. She wanted to go to buy her mum a belated birthday present, I just wanted to go because it was Tesco. She ended up buying a horde of stuff primarily for her; Scarface and Hook on DVD was probably her best purchases along with a extremely delectable Victoria Sponge cake. I on the other hand bought some Tesco own-brand mint biscuits, very much like the upper-class ‘Viscount’ brand.
I also purchased the best-worst DVD on the planet; ‘Rockets and Missiles In Action!’. The cashier assumed it would be of poor quality due to its low, 97p price tag.
Anyway, ‘Mother Newey’ didn’t seem too impressed with what Laura had bought stating; “Yeah because Hook, Scarface and rubber sweeties are just what I’ve always wanted” – You can’t please everyone can you!
Later in the evening I went over to Jamie’s. There we watched ‘Rockets and Missiles in Action!’ It lasted for a whole hour and showed us some of the best weapons in action today. It probably has the best soundtrack of any DVD ever.
Incidentally I have just received this email:
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager
Charlie.
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